Becoming Earnest

Love is the most painful and glorious thing I’ve ever known. It’s more dangerous than a double edged sword. Love ruined me for happiness. It gave me joy and fulfillment like I’ve never known and made me believe that it would last the rest of my life….TWICE. But each time it was torn away from me, I was left knowing what that bliss felt like, but not having any in my life. Once I tasted it, it changed my standards, my perspective. 

I recently doubted love can get any stronger than what I’ve already experienced but then I remembered telling my oldest son when he was a heartbroken teen, “the love you feel now will be eclipsed in the future so much so that you might laugh at yourself. The next love, the next true love, will be greater.” But starting my sixth decade of life on this earth, I struggle to believe that I can find another as great as my last, or the one before that, or the one before that, …or the one before that.